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Should I start with a title or a thesis? But how can I title my paper without a focused thesis? How has it already been a half hour? I have exactly zero words written. Thesis please present yourself from the depths of my brain, I beg of you. What if I write about some tragic aspect of the human condition? Yeah genius, cuz that's not clich? It's been forty-five minutes and the most productive thing I've done is finish a bag of chocolate pretzels. OK BRAIN GO TIME, THESIS PLEASE How many pages does this have to be?
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Five to seven for undergrad and six to eight for grad? What if I write six? Am I a grad student?
The prof would never even know. I'd be shrouded in mystery. Wow that was beautiful why can't I actually write like something like that? What was my thesis again? Tragic flaws in Shakespeare's characters. Tragic is a funny word. Well I've written three sentences, snack break.
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I'm two hours in and four sentences down. But my header is done, so that's something. I'm never gonna finish this by Wednesday. AT LEAST NOT ONCE I SHIFT INTO MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE. Do I start with my strongest body paragraph or my weakest? Start strong or finish strong? Who cares this essay is gonna be fabulous anyway. Oh Hamlet, you're so silly. TO BEEEEEE OR NOT TO BEEEEEE, THAT IS THE QUESTION.
- We got orders from all types of students - lazy ones who only want to find an easier way out of a messy situation, as well as really smart young people who simply couldn't find the time to do their own work.
- I have had the opportunity to study music with several professional and award winning composers.
- Of course it would be better for humanity if college in the United States actually required a semblance of adult writing competency.
Dang that really is the question. How do I cite lines from a play? Line number, act, scene? No, line number, scene, act Dangit, Easybib, help me MLA Style you're a frenemy I need you but I hate you. How many pages is this again? I need a synonym for "tragic. This paper is pretty tragic OK four paragraphs done, how long have I been working?
Well I'm halfway done, that's a good stopping point right? Famous words of a procrastinator I'll write two more sentences so I'm technically more than halfway done. I ain't no slacker. Oh but I could totally take this i need to write a paper zuke idea in a completely different direction That would change the whole paper. The paper you've already spent multiple hours on.
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Well I guess I don't really have evidence for that anyway FINE I'll keep writing. Shakespeare, your language makes no sense. I could talk about Macbeth and make this a comparison essay.
What they do require, however, is paaper the student actually make an effort, by simply making the decision to apply themselves. Well I've written three sentences, snack break. Students of the world: I am seeking other creative and hard working individuals to collaborate with. Buy a box of new crayons today and make something colorful. But for the common good, leave everyone else out of it.
That would give me more to write about. Gotta fill those five to seven pages. I wonder what the other students are writing about. That one kid is probably done already. DANG that was a good analysis of Macbeth's slow descent into madness.
And it's only been like five hours. I have until Wednesday to finish.
I can totally call it quits for tonight. SAVE SAVE SAVE SAVE SAVE SAVE. HOLY CRAP WAIT I could do a whole in-depth analyses of how Hamlet and Macbeth are visited by ghosts. I have to get up and write that down I'll forget it in the morning. Why do I do this to myself?
Because I'm a writer.